i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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