I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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