my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
