I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
