i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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