Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
No subtext here. People are naked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
