im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
BRING THE BAGELS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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