Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
