Where is the hickey?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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