I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
