I'm jealous of your bromance
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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