ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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