I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
