Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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