the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
