My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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