is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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