Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
