hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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