I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
