YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
