O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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