VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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