he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
