The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
