i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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