please come you make the beer taste better
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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