Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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