Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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