Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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