so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
