Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
