about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
