...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
