considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
