Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
