All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
