im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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