im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
