Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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