i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
