PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
