the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
