You can't special order awesome
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
