At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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