She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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