you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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