Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
