last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
