Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
