um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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