woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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