As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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