after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
