I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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