Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
