i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
