yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
