Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She bit a glass in half.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
