this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
