we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
